Many business owners will know only too well that feeling of being stuck or trapped within their business. Managing everyone’s welfare and needs but your own! Perhaps you have recurring thoughts such as:
- I can’t go back and I don’t know how to move forward.
- I never imagined my life would be like this. I feel I am living someone else’s life and I am helpless to do anything about it.
- I’m at a loss for what to do. I realise change is needed but I don’t know where to start. I just don’t have the skills/time/cash to invest/ experience to turn things around. It’s hopeless.
- I hate the business and I feel it like a millstone around my neck. I wish I could pack my bags and just walk away from it all but that is impossible.
- I can’t cope. It is impossible. I’m just not cut out for this/ I don’t deserve this.
Sound familiar? Then you will know only too well the dread of going to work and the constant misery caused by the perception that you have no control over your destiny.
What are the signals to look out for?
For over 20 years I have been advising and guiding business owners struggling with feelings of being trapped or stuck and the debilitating negative thoughts that accompany them. I have witnessed the impact many times and see many common symptoms that highlight something is drastically wrong:
- Depression, anxiety, panic attacks (truly awful for those that have experienced them) and a range of mental health issues that stem from unrelenting stress and pressure.
- A lack of energy or enthusiasm. Hopelessness, lethargy, and fatigue that is not remedied by sleep.
- Burnout or the inability to function as a leader.
- Anger, frustration, resentment, bitterness, and despair – the tendency is to either lash out or run away and hide (i.e. procrastinate).
- Poor communication, withdrawal, and avoidance of contact with others (more working from home and sloping off to clear the mind)
- Unwillingness to be open to new ideas or ways of working. An increasingly rigid mindset can disempower others and lead to autocratic styles of leadership.
- Making rash decisions not properly thought through or relying on quick fixes. Treating symptoms and not causes.
You will realise I talk passionately about this topic! Well, I have to confess, that I have not been immune to these feelings either over the years. Like many business owners, I have questioned whether it is all worthwhile, had to stare into the pit of despair, and even reinvent myself and try to find meaning and purpose when all seems lost.
Can I get unstuck?
Absolutely! But, although the solution is simple, it is far from easy to put into practice. The medicine, if you like, requires:
- An open mind and a willingness to explore issues and topics that may not immediately make sense.
- Courage. Looking into dark places and taking a leap of faith is scary and the voice in your head will inevitably be telling you that you shouldn’t have to feel scared or uncomfortable.
- Determination, patience and commitment. There is no quick fix and there will be bumps in the road. You have to trust in the process. It takes time to build knowledge and wisdom and to break bad habits (which include a persistent downward spiral of negative thinking).
Although there may be issues to tackle, even real challenges and barriers to overcome, it is our mind (and the voice in our head) that leads us to feel stuck or trapped with all the negative emotions that then follow. Already, I can sense your doubts as you read this – “What does he know! My problems are not a figment of my imagination. How dare he suggest that”. As I said, this isn’t necessarily easy!
What next?
Are you ready to open your mind, show courage in the face of your fears, and bring a determination to act and do what must be done to liberate you from your predicament? If the answer is yes, then read Part 2 of my blog “How do I get myself unstuck?“.